FOOD fit for a Rockstar

Deena Kamm's recipe book and always evolving food philosophy

fail fail fail barf fail… Day 61 of my Food Journey


What’s on my mind…? I want pizza and I want it now!!! Why is Pizza so hard for me?? Why am I having such a hard time with PIZZA!!!!!! I’m not even Italian for crying out loud.

Well – I bought the TJ fake cheese (barf) today in a fit of desperation, and looked up some “healthy” (barf) crust options and found one that said – and I quote – “You may never set foot in a Pizza Hut ever again. Trust me, after one taste, you’ll see why.”  I guess the Pizza Hut reference should have tipped me off, but I am desperate, so I made this CRUST (not – barf) and followed the recipe exactly (something I rarely do and now I am regretting this) and it was a HUGE fail fail fail.  It didn’t cook – I mean not at all – it was wet coconut flour underneath some very happy ingredients like sauteed mushrooms and onions, vegan sausages, yummy marinara…  None of that matters though if you mix it up with wet flour and have to pretend you are okay sucking it up and eating it anyway.  My husband (perfect angel that he is) ate it and said he loved it – he didn’t.  My Son, tried it and gave me some good, polite, constructive criticism as to how he thinks we could improve on it.  Love that kid.  I feel sick to my stomach because I kept trying to salvage it by reheating and eating it anyway.  Fail.

Seriously – I spent the last 2 hours trying to find new ways of apologizing for putting this dinner on plates, and I think I’m going to go barf it up now.  Tomorrow it’s back to basics.  Enough experimenting.  I need to know that what I’m about to eat is edible and won’t leave a lump in my stomach.

If you have a REAL healthy pizza crust substitute I might be willing to try again. Let me know. Until then – keep fighting the good fight and HAPPY healthy eating to you.

Husband Rating 1 star:gold-star: “I don’t know what you’re talking about – I really like it… (barf) really!”
Kid Rating 0 smiley faces: “Mommy – can I have desert now?”

2 Comments to

“fail fail fail barf fail… Day 61 of my Food Journey”

  1. Avatar March 6th, 2014 at 10:24 pm Guy Says:

    Lies! Lies! Lies! It was food so good. I am sad to discover you’ve been bought out by the pizza cartel and are just their puppet.

    Post the recipe and let The People be the judge. How dare you!


  2. Avatar March 6th, 2014 at 10:32 pm Deena Says:

    I will NEVER post it!!! NEVAAAAAAAAAAH!

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